A Hat For Me and You
by Yotsubadancesintherain5
Summary: There was a more official way to say, "You are not alone."


**A/N: Originally posted on AO3 on May 18 2019**

**Before I got this game my friend and I were talking about it, and how she thought it would be cute if Hat Kid and Mustache Girl had a puppy love thing. I declared that when I finally got to play the game for myself I'd write a fic where they get married, like when kids play together. Basically just cute as heck all around.**

The search for Moustache Girl was a tarried one; even with Hat Kid and Bow Kid splitting off to other worlds and searching to the best of their abilities they couldn't find her. Bow Kid got a pair of sunglasses for her troubles, but that was all she could get from Dead Bird Studios.

It wasn't until late at night, when the alarm went off, that they finally found who they were looking for. Bow Kid thought it was better, because something like this should've been asked from the source of the idea.

"I've heard that you two are stalking me," Moustache Girl said. She climbed through the window. "I don't appreciate it."

"Not stalking, looking," Bow Kid interjected.

"You're afraid of being alone!" Hat Kid added. "You don't want to be abandoned."

"I've never said such lies," Moustache Girl replied. She pulled her hood up.

"So," Hat Kid said, undeterred, "We are first friends! So get married to me!"

Bow Kid gasped, not at the proclamation, but that she had forgotten the party poppers. Or, more like she didn't have the chance to pick them up before an intruder got onto the ship.

It was dramatic enough, with Moustache Girl then tugging her hood off her head.

"And how do you suppose we do that?" she asked, some amused lit to her voice.

"DIY weddings are pretty popular, right?" Bow Kid asked.

"I have a phone, too!" Hat Kid said.

"If you have it under control then I don't object," Moustache Girl said. Bow Kid was the one to catch her split-second smile.

The wedding invitations were sent out, with one exception that had to be made on the phone.

"Papa, can you and mama make it to the wedding in time?" Hat Kid spun in a slow circle and the phone's cord was wrapped around her like a thin snake. "What? You have to go rescue mama? That's okay! We can do it again! Love you, too!"

Bow Kid thought it was a lightly disturbing conversation. The thought faded when Hat Kid got herself untangled, put the phone back, flung herself to the table, and went back to work on the decorations.

And then Hat Kid revealed that she was going to appoint the Snatcher as the officiate-wedding-guy-whatever. Bow Kid nearly flung her crayon in shock. Based on the numerous stories Bow Kid heard about Hat Kid's family she wondered if feasting upon gullible soup was a family staple.

Hat Kid ran the idea through Moustache Girl first, got the go-ahead, headed the forest with Bow Kid in tow and all but demanded that the Snatcher take on this task.

"Kiddo, you're lucky enough I _considered_ going," the Snatcher said in a bored lull. "I don't do weddings. That kind of contract is repulsive."

Bow Kid stood as witness with her hands in her pockets as Hat Kid continued her demand. Bow Kid had forgotten that glitter was stuck in the grooves of the pockets.

"Look, this right here!" Hat Kid said, pointing her finger to her modified contract. "Friends do nice things for friends!"

"That's not how it works, kid. How about I take your voice as payment?"

"No!"

Bow Kid withdrew her hands and glitter fell onto the carpet. It fell in a sparkly, grainy shower.

"If I agree will you leave and _shut up_?" The Snatcher asked, exasperated, over the one-sided arguing.

Hat Kid drew her index finger and thumb across her mouth.

"Fine. Send me a date, then."

The week before the wedding comprised of overtaking the kitchen, with cakes and food that wasn't as important as cake.

It was okay when Cooking Cat did the work, but Hat Kid insisted on baking one of the cakes. Bow Kid found that she was inching closer and closer to the doors with every flair and flourish that Hat Kid did with her baking. As in, being extremely flashy without any measure of skill.

"No, no, kid!" Moustache Girl yelled over the whirl of the mixer. "Get the eggshells out first!"

"Oh, right, right!" The mixer was shut off and Hat Kid stuck her fingers into the batter.

"Not like that," Moustache Girl said. She looked at Bow Kid, who flinched because she was nearly out the door and got caught. "Please help."

"I'm okay over here." Bow Kid cautiously leaned over. Hat Kid was staring at the batter with a contemplative expression.

"This batter's been bad, so-"

"Don't put it in the microwave," Bow Kid said, though her voice wavered because maybe the recipe did call for that.

There was a loud knocking from outside the kitchen and Bow Kid quickly volunteered to investigate and bolted from the kitchen.

She jumped down to the first floor, shook out her legs as they stung with pins and needles, and saw a turtle-like individual at the door. He was floating with two white wings protruding from his red shell and he was kicking at the door with his boot because his hands weren't free.

"Be right there!" Bow Kid called and she raced to the door. She pulled it open and the turtle-like mailman dropped a package on the floor. He then flew off without a word.

"Okay, bye, then," Bow Kid said. She eyed the package with scrutiny. If an automated voice announced that there were only a set number of seconds before self-destruct Bow Kid would fling the package out the window.

She didn't hear anything ominous from the box and noticed a piece of paper taped to the side of the package with Hat Kid's name written across the square. Bow Kid lifted up the package, found that it was very light, and nearly dropped it when an explosion echoed throughout the ship.

Bow Kid whirled around and saw that the kitchen doors were flung open and billowy smoke floated upward. She ran up the stairs, package under her arm, and saw Hat Kid and Moustache Girl cleaning out batter from their clothes and hair. The microwave beeped pitifully.

"This is for you," Bow Kid said, holding out the package to Hat Kid. She took it with her half-cleaned hands.

"It's a present from auntie and uncle," Hat Kid announced when she wrestled the paper free and opened it up. "I'll go put it in my room-"

"I'll do it," Bow Kid said, and she grabbed the box and took off before any protests occurred. Cake batter stained the carpets.

It wasn't long before the day arrived and Hat Kid and Bow Kid were busy in last-minute preparation in Hat Kid's room.

Bow Kid helped out Hat Kid with dyeing a pair of clothes white, save for her usual hat. That honor went to the present that Hat Kid received, which she showed to Bow Kid. It was a white, short top hat, with a blue broach pinned to the silk around the base.

"This is one of my papa's hats," she said with quiet fondness. She pointed at the broach. "And this belongs to my mama."

Bow Kid offered up a smile, and gave an affectionate pat to the top of the treasured hat.

"Ready?" she asked.

Any melancholy dissipated and Hat Kid nodded, with an energetic pose to make Bow Kid leaving the room more dynamic. Bow Kid responded in turn with a skip and hop, then dancing out into the hallway.

The ship was crowded with people, most in amused laughter at the decorations, and Bow Kid rushed to the makeshift altar to stand as witness. Bow Kid and Moustache Girl tried to shush the crowd, and only the Snatcher managed to shut them up with a bellowing, "Quiet!"

With a few scant murmurs Hat Kid jumped out from the hallway and rushed to the altar, one hand on her hat, and crashed into the handmade pillar.

Undeterred she brushed her nose and grabbed Moustache Girl's hand and Bow Kid began clapping and the crowd joined in.

When it died down the Snatcher spoke unenthusiastically.

"By the power invested in me, and space, ah, who cares," he said, "You're married, yadda-yadda-yadda."

Hat Kid quickly planted a kiss on Moustache Girl's cheek and Bow Kid tried and failed to cover up her laughter at the suddenness of it; she was close enough to hear Hat Kid's words over the cheering roar of the crowd.

"You're never gonna be alone!"

A/N:

**So if you follow Vinesauce, there's a mod stream where Vinny has Hat Kid don a Mario hat and outfit and insinuates that Hat Kid is Mario and Peach's child.****  
****Which is one of two pure things that Vinny Vinny Vinesauce has created, the other of course being everyone's favorite perpetually crying orange forgotten brother, Sponge.****  
****I love it, so I sprinkled in a couple of references to the Mario series.**


End file.
